Monday 11 May 2015

My writing

Today at literacy, I finished my writing.
I would like to show it to you:

Saturday


Dear diary,
today is the day that some people will be chosen to go to war. I feel terrified. I don’t want to be chosen, I’m a terrible fighter! I might die... I hope they don’t come into my bedroom. I’m writing this as I’m hiding under my bed. Oh no, here they come! I can hear their feet thumping against the wooden floor. My heart is beating quickly, and I’m sweating like a pig. After a few minutes, they start to walk away. I sigh in relief. But then one turned around and said,”What’s that?” And the other guy said ,”I don’t know..another person?” They then start walking back to my bed, and they topple the bed over. They found me. As they dragged me to the door my mom wipes a tear away as dad hugs her. The rest of the day was in a wagon full of other people.


Monday


Dear diary,
today we went into the trenches. With no roof or bed, it doesn’t feel like home; but at least I can have some sleep, or play cards. Also, I saw that my old friends Jack, Bryan, Mino, Harley, Randy and Sidney. Sometimes we have to do chores, like clean out the toilets. When we’re doing chores, my friends tell me what they learnt in the trenches. They said that the field in the middle of the enemy’s and our trenches is called ‘No man's land’. I also found out there were a lot of people with the flu. There were a lot of rats in the toilets. In the morning we also have a stand-to. That’s about the only way we can stay alert.


Wednsday


Dear diary,
Yesterday I saw some guys joking about going on the no man’s land. When one guy actually stepped onto the land, I thought quickly and alerted my friends. We got some strong guys, and they grabbed the man and hauled him into the trench. That’s about all that happened yesterday


Friday


Dear diary,
Yesterday was horrible!
Some Turks were zooming across the field and were shooting bullets into the trenches. as you would think, it was our rest time. So before everyone woke up, a lot of people were shot down. Then, we got our guns and ran out to shoot the Turks. But when Sidney went, he fell down immediately. Harley rushed over to his body, and he died too. I got very mad and sad at the same time. Why did they kill two brothers? Were they planning something? I thought this as I flew across the grassy fields, over the dead bodies of soldiers, and shooting the Turks at the same time.


Saturday


Dear diary,
today I ran away.

I ran away because I was scared, I ran away because I hated the trenches, and I ran away because I thought killing was awful. I think that while I was running, I saw Harley and Sidney coming after me. When I blinked and looked again, I found out it was just an illusion. Or was it?

11 comments:

  1. Dear Kyle,

    This is an awesome story. You know me, so you know I will mention you could try to change your story by using one tense (choosing past tense or present tense, instead of using both at once) and see how you like the feel of it. Writers often write a story two or three times to see which one works. Pretty cooh, huh?

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  2. Hey Kyle
    i like your story it is pretty cool

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  3. Outstanding story...I am looking forward to hearing it about Sunday... ^^

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  4. Great work, Kyle. I thought you put yourself inside the head of a young soldier really well.

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  5. We are quite surprised to read your writing .It is excellent and interesting , but a little terrified " Keep on writing"

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    Replies
    1. (These are my grandparents from Taiwan, they just forgot to type that in.)

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  6. 哇!故事好精彩喔!
    用的字彙也越來越深了,
    姑姑得查字典才看得懂欸!

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Thanks for your comment.